We as a parent can help a lot in instilling a positive sense of self- esteem in our child. It has been noted that children with high self-esteem feel more loved and competent and as a result, they dwell into becoming happier and more productive people. One can consider the following do’s and don’ts to help to build self-confidence your child’s positive self-image as he grows.
Do give children choices. Children when given choices — within a reasonable set of options considerably chosen by you — feel empowered. For example, you can give your child the choice to choose his lunch for school. You might offer your child the option of eggs or pancakes. Being able to make simple choices while your child is still a youngster will make your child capable of facing more difficult choices he’ll have to make as he grows.
Don’t do everything for her. Be patient and let her work things out for herself. As in case of feeding your pre-scholar, it may be faster and easier to feed your child on your own, but letting the child do it himself helps him learn new skills and feel self- reliant. The more the child meets new challenges, the more competent and confident he’ll feel.
Tell him no one is perfect. And explain it to your child in the best possible way, that no one expects him to be perfect in everything he does. The reaction of your child is decided a lot by the way you react to your child’s mistakes and disappointments.
Don’t offer insincere praise. Kids are experts at detecting insincere praise or baseless compliments. Praise your child on small accomplishments. But be specific when showering compliments so that your words don’t sound hollow. For instance, instead of reacting to your child’s latest Lego construct with, “Wow, how good you made it. You’re the best Lego artist in the world,” try something like, “I really like how you built the house. You even included details like an exact number of windows and doors we have in our house.
Do assign age-appropriate household chores. Give children responsibility for tasks such as helping you in laying down the dinner table, walking the dog, and keeping laundry in place. They’ll feel competent enough to do certain tasks on their own and this will boost their problem-solving skills.
Don’t draw comparisons between your children. Never compare one child with another, rather, praise each one individually and shower praise on their special gifts individually.
Don’t call children names or use sarcasm to make a point. Never belittle your child’s feelings. Avoid saying anything to your child when you are really angry, take a short break so you don’t say anything you’ll regret later. And keep in mind, you can dislike a child’s actions without disliking the child. Make this thing clear to your child that you dislike what he did not him.
Do spend one-on-one time with your child. Whether it’s going for an ice-cream or taking a car ride, try to plan some alone time with your child at least once a week. This is a great opportunity to talk about what’s on her mind and to bind and strengthen the bond two of you share.